How to tell the difference between different...
POWER METAL: The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.
THRASH METAL: The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.
HEAVY METAL: The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few beers and fucks the princess.
FOLK METAL: The protagonist arrives with some friends playing accordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then all leave........ without the princess.
VIKING METAL: The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.
DEATH METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.
BLACK METAL: The protagonist IS the dragon, dwells in the heart of the night with in a castle full of hellhounds and eternal flames. He kills the sassy knight, fucks the noble steed and sacrifices the princess to Satan.
GORE METAL: The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.
DOOM METAL: The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. That's the end of the sad story.
PROGRESSIVE METAL: The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the 'HEAVY METAL' protagonist.
GLAM METAL: The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.
NU METAL: The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.
I don’t want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it...– Neil Gaiman, Coraline (via durianquotes)
Ordering in a restaurant in Tokyo
Waitress: "irasshaimase" [welcome]
Me: "Osusume wa nan des ka?" [what do you recommend?]
Waitress: lots of japanese I can't understand
Me: "Nandemo Edes" [anything is fine]...my stock answer
Waitress: more japanese I can't understand, and then heads off smiling
Me: await food
Waitress: with a beaming smile brings a selection of the finest food and does her best to explain what it all is
Me: enjoy amazing Japanese food. fall in love with waitress
REPEAT ON A DAILY BASIS
- I am forever jealous of this person.
Pick 5 TV Shows you like before reading the questions. 1. Dexter 2. The Walking Dead 3. Community 4. Lost 5. Game Of Thrones 1. Who is your favorite character in 2? Daryl Dixon. 2. Who is your least favorite character in 1? Tom Matthews. He’s such a dick. 3. What’s your favorite episode of 4? I haven’t watched S06 yet and I have no idea which particular episode was my...
Absolutely loving the new Rent A Server on Battlefield 3 and the longer games people are making with more tickets. Even though I was booted last night by my xbox crashing, I rejoined and got a total of 114 kills to 63 deaths and 39k points before ribbons/medals/service stars. And it was Conquest on Metro. :D Super Medic.
May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good madness. I hope...– Neil Gaiman
Nothing’s changed. You’ll go home. You’ll be bored. You’ll be ignored. No one...– Neil Gaiman - Coraline
He croaked, “Hello, Laura.” She looked up at him with dead eyes, and she...– American Gods by Neil Gaiman